Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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