You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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