some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
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Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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