i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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