I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
