Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
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Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
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I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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