god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
