I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
