guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize