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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
