I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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