I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
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I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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