"it" just moved
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
