smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
