Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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