hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
