HIV tests are more positive than that guy
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
im holly from the hills drunk
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
