Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
