You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
