my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
