I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
