It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
