What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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