Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
