So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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