i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize