Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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