it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
