Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
