Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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