I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I need moral support for this bender
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
