So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
