Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize