maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
