I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
