Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
