My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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