i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize