sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize