Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
