Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
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I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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