I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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