The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
