weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
