He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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