I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
