You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
