Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My legs feel like baby dolphins
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
