Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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