i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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