the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
