summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
