just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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