everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
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She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
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If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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